just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
