forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Small penises have feelings too.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
