don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he thought i was a dude.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
