He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
