After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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