Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize