I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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