you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
