so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
