I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
