just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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