I wish I could teleport
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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