hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
