come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
