I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
