i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
