I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
