I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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