just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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