Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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