and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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