nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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