She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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