All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
