Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
