Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We need a shit load of segways right now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
