I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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