hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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