I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
