I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
