Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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