Got a toothbrush?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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