You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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