There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
