If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
