Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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