I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
