I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
