I just pynch a tree in the face
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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