dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
