I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
