I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
