I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
