dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
