Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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