I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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