I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
