i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it penis luge time yet?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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