You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
