i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
