just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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