return my video game
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
