Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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