did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
