I hate your face
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize