At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
