uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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