Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.