Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.