Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
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As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
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You made out with two different species that night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online