he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
