I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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