The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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