Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize